Fundamism- Connecting to Life Through FUN Read online

  FUNDAMISM

  Connecting to Life Through F.U.N.

  By

  Paul J. Long

  Copyright ©2018, Paul J Long

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be

  reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  www.pauljlong.com

  www.fundamism.com

  GRAB YOUR FREE GIFT!

  As a huge thank you for reading the book, I’d love to give you access to the downloadable, fillable PDF workbook for free.

  This will help you achieve fundamism in your life faster and allow you space to work through the exercises at your own pace.

  You can download it here: http://pauljlong.com/freepdf

  MESSAGE TO THE READER

  I admire you. You may be one of the countless friends, family, clients, or supporters that picked up this book to help me in my quest to guide others in finding their fundamism. Of course, you may be an individual looking to improve your own life or to find something that helps you get through a challenging moment, or maybe you just desire more fun in all you do. Either way, I admire you, and thank you for going on this journey with me.

  Your decision to purchase this book is driving change for children all across the globe. A portion of all proceeds from Fundamism: Connecting to Life Through F.U.N. will be donated to Noah’s Bandage Project to support funding for pediatric cancer research. The story of Noah Wilson, his courage and unbelievable determination to help others is featured in the book itself. However, if you want to learn more, feel free to visit www.noahsbandageproject.com.

  From the bottom of my heart, I thank you and hope that fundamism guides you in finding the FUN you deserve in life.

  DEDICATION

  This book is dedicated to my amazing wife, Melissa—in the most challenging moment in my life, one where I struggled to find my own personal fun, you encouraged me to chase my dreams. As I cried on your shoulder, you advised that no amount of money is worth sacrificing my happiness. The world needs more fundamism—and you, Melissa, are the catalyst to making it happen. I love you, Bee!

  I’d also like to dedicate this book to Adalyn Grace and Brennan Royal. You are two of the most fun, kind-hearted, spirited, and respectful kids any parent can ask for. I hope this book can serve as a guide and inspiration for you to help yourself and others find FUN in life. Never underestimate the difference you can make in this world. I love you, monkeys.

  “Fun is one of the most important—and underrated—ingredients in any successful venture. If you’re not having fun, then it’s probably time to call it quits and try something else.”

  —Richard Branson

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  Foreword

  Introduction

  Arriving at Fun's Front Door

  The FUNdamentals of Fundamism

  The Foundation of F.U.N.

  The F.U.N. in Understanding Others' Perspectives

  Next Steps to Even More F.U.N.

  Additional FUNdamentals

  Game Time!!!

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Can You Help?

  Foreword

  Lacing Up Your Gators

  “It’s not about how to achieve your dreams, it’s about how to lead your life… If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you.”

  —Randy Pausch, professor of computer science at Carnegie Mellon University and author of The Last Lecture

  Ever since I was a kid, I told my mom I was going to play professional sports. Growing up, I was fortunate enough to be a naturally gifted athlete.

  My freshman year of college I measured 6 foot 5 inches, could run like a deer, and had great instincts on all athletic fields. Because of that, I didn’t always have to work as hard as everyone else. At times, I even took things for granted.

  My skillset allowed me the opportunity to play football on scholarship for the University of Cincinnati. My brother, Jason, also played football, but he didn’t have the luxury of getting a free education like I did. He remains, to this day, one of the hardest workers I’ve ever known. I’ll explain why this is relevant shortly.

  I was redshirted as a freshman. That meant I got to practice with the team, but I couldn’t play in games, at least not until my sophomore season, which seemed like an eternity! Not getting to play in games made me lose focus. I became a party animal. It happens to a lot of kids in their first year of college. It’s your first year away from home, and you feel free. As a result, you enjoy the life you feel you were born to live.

  My lack of focus jaded my perspective. I didn’t use my time early on in my college career to lay the foundation of being a professional athlete. I was out enjoying life, going out throughout the week, partying hard and getting hammered. I’d go to practice hung over.

  Well, life finally caught up to me…

  That’s one of the most important things I’ve learned—if you’re doing the wrong things, that crap will catch up to you.

  What did crap catching up to me look like?

  It meant I got kicked off the team and couldn’t play college sports for 365 days.

  I missed an entire year of building a resume, working on my craft, and getting better as an athlete. I had it all taken away from me due to my own negligence.

  The one thing that ate me up the most was the disappointment that my parents expressed as a result of my mistakes. It killed me.

  I had to make a change.

  The thing is, I think everyone goes through a struggle at some point in their lives. And when it’s happening, it feels like that troubled world is the only thing that exists, like you’re in a rut that is impossible to get out of.

  But—it always passes.

  To get through it, you must understand that it’s short-lived. Whatever your struggle, you’ve got to own it. Also, you have to realize you have the power to change it, to change your world and your worldview.

  As I see it, even if something isn’t under your control, the only power you have in this world is making a decision. That is it.

  There’s always going to be someone that’s smarter, faster, stronger, more athletic, or whatever. However, no one has more power than you when you decide to make a decision. It’s the only thing in your control—your decisions.

  You control your decisions.

  The people around me weren’t getting me into trouble. It was all me. It was my decision-making. So I decided to make a new and different decision.

  To get out of my negative headspace and the rut I was in I made the decision to establish a new routine. I starting waking up early and doing something productive every morning. It gave me confidence.

  When I wake up early, knock out a workout, read, watch film, or listen to something motivational, it triggers my mind to attack the day and have a positive outlook on everything that comes my way. From there, I can always roll with the punches.

  Around the time I began implementing my new routine was when I was first exposed to Randy Pausch’s The Last Lecture: “If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you.” Yes, suddenly I got it. These words rang true for me.

  I realized that was what my brother had been doing all along—working hard, doing the right thing, and opening lots of doors

  for himself, as a result. Jason’s tenacity and tireless effort in achieving
his goals played a critical role most recently in allowing him the opportunity to win a Super Bowl while playing center for the Philadelphia Eagles.

  In order to fulfill my childhood dream of becoming a professional athlete, I decided to start leading life the right way. I began working on me, gravitating towards the things that I love and starting the search to find my authentic self.

  The second decision I made to get through the most challenging time in my life was to find something else, besides football that I loved and found incredibly fun.

  I started playing summer baseball.

  Finding that something you love to do, that’s super fun, allows you to focus on your present and future rather than on your past mistakes or disappointments. Find something that you enjoy and do it often. I didn’t know it at the time, but this concept is the basis for the book you’re reading now. It’s Paul Long’s philosophy of fundamism: don’t wallow in the bad stuff from the past because it keeps you stuck; instead, regularly do what you truly enjoy, so you keep positive, content, and moving forward.

  Just because I found what Paul Long calls fundamism doesn’t mean that I don’t fall victim to regression from time to time. Challenges still come, and it takes practice and diligence to make it through them. Despite the fact that I made a decision to live genuinely and “lead my life the right way,” I distinctly remember moments where I found myself losing sight of what the “right way” actually was.

  My first couple of years in the league, there were times where I was trying to portray an image that wasn’t me. On the field, I’m always a competitor, in the zone. But off the field, I was trying to be someone that everyone liked. By doing that, I started to fall away from my authentic self.

  Pleasing everyone is not possible.

  That time in my career pushed me away from many of the individuals that I hold near and dear to me, folks that always supported me. Why? Because I was trying to be something I wasn’t. Getting back to my genuine self has allowed me to find my strength again, and I’m comfortable knowing whoever accepts me, accepts the real me.

  Today, I’m in a much better place than I was when I was younger. I wake up, and I appreciate everything that comes my way. That’s the fun of it. That’s life at its best.

  Even if you plan something fun to do, you never know how it’s going to end up. But if you appreciate everything that comes your way and you roll with the curves that life presents you, fun will begin finding you, rather than you having to seek it out.

  Rick Flair once said, “I’m having a hard time holding these alligators down.” He was referencing his shoes, but I believe there’s a metaphor in there for how to live life. Rick Flair’s confidence, hard work, and ownership mentality created a wealth of opportunity for him. By limiting excuses in life and having the confidence that you can achieve anything, you too will have a hard time holding those alligators down. Once you lace those gators up, they’ll want to run wild. Once you find your true authentic self, anything is possible, and personal freedom is within your reach. How wild is that?

  In addition to appreciating everything that comes my way, I also believe in consistent self-development. Growing as an individual can help drive improvements in how you handle future adversity in life.

  I’m always working to be the best football player I can be,

  but that’s not enough. I want to be a better person, as well. The one thing I’d like to continue to work on is my intellect. I didn’t always take school as seriously as I should have.

  My father can watch Jeopardy and ramble off answers to all the questions. Oftentimes, I find myself wondering, “I have that in my genes?! What am I friggin’ doing here? I’m sitting here clueless about everything Alex Trebek is asking!”

  Consistent self-development is important in improving your quality of life. I’m working to better my knowledge of the world, the surroundings around me, and to expose myself to things that will support mental growth.

  What’s the one thing you’d like to improve in your life?

  As you progress through Fundamism: Connecting to Life Through F.U.N., you’re going to have many opportunities to self-reflect and self-develop. In talking to Paul, I know I did.

  As you reflect, find comfort in revisiting the past. Yes, you’ll feel some pain but reliving how you felt through your worst moments can help keep you on track. It keeps your mind in a place where you’re motivated to make sure you never get back to that point again.

  The key to growth is pushing through the heartache without wallowing in it and developing a plan to move yourself forward. Find your fun, what Paul calls your “FUNdamentals.”

  My FUNdamentals are rooted in routine, self-improvement, authenticity, and enjoyment—leading my life the right way and letting the karma take care of itself.

  What will yours look like?

  Everyone is going through something. As the dark is revealed, the sun will come out again. Every day is a new day, and you can attack it as such. As challenging as it may seem to make it through, you will. You have before, and you’ll do it again.

  The one thing you can control is your decisions. You can decide to put fundamism into practice, to find your FUNdammentals, and invest in the journey of this book. I’ve already made those decisions, and what I’ve found as a result—life sure has been a whole lot more FUN!

  —Travis Kelce, All-Pro Tight End for the Kansas City Chiefs

  Introduction

  Get Your F.U.N. On!

  “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”

  —George Bernard Shaw

  Identify someone in your life that consistently appears upbeat, optimistic, and troubled by nothing. On the surface, they seem to truly enjoy life and have FUN in all they do. Take a moment and recall that person . . .

  Have you ever wished you could be a little more like them? Wished that you could let things roll off you like the water off a duck’s back? Jump for no reason? Sing out loud without worrying what others think? Create games out of mundane tasks? Incorporate a little more FUN in your life?

  Great news—you can! By reading this book you’re one step closer to connecting to life through F.U.N.!

  Vulnerability and acceptance are paramount in achieving growth. In order for joy and fulfillment to become the defining elements of your life, you have to accept and move forward from any past experiences that may be holding you back. Are you truly committed to creating change in how you experience life? Are you willing to do what’s necessary to have more FUN in life? Before we discuss how to get there, let’s explore some of the experiences that could be keeping you from the contentment you deserve.

  What do you recall being the most challenging time in your life? Close your eyes and picture the heartache or anxiety you felt. Maybe you lost a job, went through a terrible breakup, didn’t know how you were going to pay the bills, were diagnosed with a life-altering ailment, or experienced the passing of a loved one? Whatever the challenge, recollect how it felt like there was no way you could get through that difficult time.

  We all desire happiness, and minimal stress. However, life doesn’t care what we want. And, life doesn’t always work out as we plan. To truly maximize life experience, all we can do is live with purpose and learn from our experiences—which is not the same as dwelling on them. The shorter the memory we have when it comes to those challenges we’ve faced, coupled with a strong ability to quickly move through painful situations, will help determine how joy-filled our experience in life will be.

  Now let’s revisit that particularly challenging moment in your life. At the time, you thought life was running circles around you and you couldn’t see the end of the super tough situation. You probably wanted to give up, were overwhelmed with emotions, and were stressed all the time. You thought there was no possible way you could make it through the pain and trouble. But—you did.

  Here you are—today, right now—taking the first step in bringing more fun, fulfillment, and j
oy to your life. The thing you thought couldn’t be done, you did. Challenges will continue to come. However, in reading Fundamism: Connecting to Life Through F.U.N. you are preparing yourself with the practices, habits, tools, and techniques necessary to combat the negative headspace such challenges create. You are moving yourself forward in finding your FUN!

  Just That Simple

  Back in 1991, a boxer by the name of Vinny Pazienza was riding the ultimate high. He was working on reinventing himself as more of a strategic boxer rather than the brawler he once was. Vinny saw a championship fight just within reach. But, life didn’t work out as he had planned. What happened? A horrific car accident brought Vinny’s dream to a screeching halt.

  Vinny awoke with doctors and family by his side. He was advised that he’d broken his neck in the accident and was given two options in recovery. The first option was spinal fusion surgery. The second was a metal halo screwed into his skull and other areas of the body to immobilize his neck. Vinny went the route of the halo as he felt it provided him a higher probability of success in living the life he’d once lived.